A sad day indeed. My once beloved poker forum has seen fit to suspend me for posting a news link to a paedophile story that broke today. Its been a bit of a running battle recently and I have grown kind of tired with it all. But the subject got resurrected recently and I have just made a couple of comments, nothing nasty, just what I see as the truth behind it all. I just dont believe that a convicted paedophile has any business on the internet, let alone as a member of a poker forum. But the site admin feel differently and they make the rules, so thats that. I have no idea how long for or if its permanent or not, time will tell. It just sits badly with me, especially as I have a 3 yr old granddaughter. If one of those fuckers ever hurt her, they would be dead, simple as that, no hesitation. In this day and age, guns are not hard to find. I would only do the kneecaps first, then make the fucker suffer some before finishing the job. I make no appollogies for that at all. I detest these bastards and wouldn’t hesitate in killing one of them, they are scum, the whole lot of them and they need to learn theres no place on this planet for them.
So what I am going to do with myself now, I dont know, lol. In many ways, its doing me a favour in helping me distance myself from there. It was developing into a slow divorce and getting messy with it. But thats what these people bring to your door, nothing but trouble and pain and suffering. The timing could just be a blessing in disguise if a couple of things come off for me in the next few weeks. I hope its just a two week job, so I can still play a few games there and talk to a few mates at the tables now and then, but I am not going to be devastated or anything. Maybe the time is right to move on, when coupled with other areas of life that I am trying to push forward. So maybe this year is the year of change that I have been wanting and hoping it to be. Iam in a better place mentally and although its slow going, my fitness is building bit by bit and thats what I need, baby steps, inch by inch. Progress is progress, no matter how slow and painful it is, its progress all the same and thats the important factor right now.
It very much looks like, unless a small miracle happens, that this is me now for the rest of my days. If thats the case, bring it on, I am ready for a good scrap. Three years of hell has led me to a great deal of frustration and somewhere, its payback time. I have got to be sensible and focused and not want everything to happen like yesterday, aptience, patience and more patience will get me through I am sure. And now that damned place has banned my sorry ass, I need an outlet. But after naming this blog after the place as my own tribute, I am wondering if I can change the name of it at all? I will have a real look for that tomorrow when theres more time. I have won just about all I wanted to win there anyway. I did the clean sweep, won the CC tournament, won some points buy ins, and a cash buy in and two indy leages. Iwould have liked to have spent a month playing the VIP games, but doubt thats gonna happen now. I shall be closing more accounts now and getting others taken off the trackers they are on, they aint gettin no more of my hard earnt cash.
So that ends a lousy day. Felt shit all day today and come back down with a bump after yesterday being so positive. But I wont let that get me down or this other crapola, screw that. Let the children play and try to be god, I aint interested anymore in that.
Tomorrow is another day. For now, I am going to play some poker with a few online friends and have a laugh or two, hopefully. Not bothered about winning, not really, but that might change come game time, lol.