Massive Day Ahead

For the Purple Pain in the Arse, Friday 1st April is one of the biggest days in my entire life.

I am fighting for my life this year. Its been 3 very long years since I last worked, ran, played and I am trying to end all that by challenging myself. I now know what my body is not capable of doing. I have accepted it, mourned it and its time to move on if I can.

So today, this morning, I am off to see about some voluntary work. Just a couple of mornings to start, if I can face it and see what happens. I can’t really look beyond that right now, tomorrow is whats important, as a good friend rightly pointed out earlier. I am going to a Mining and Engineering Museum/Library, which, due to my condition, should be a good environment for me. I can help show new computer users what to do and help them set up e mail accounts etc etc. I can help come up with some outsourcing ideas to promote what the place has to offer. I can also do some archiving if I want  to. That sounds great and I just hope it’s as good as it sounds. Its scary, I am apprehensive, just a little frightened by the prospect of leaving home alone, of meeting new people, of finding my comfort zone in a new environment. Thats going to be tiring for me tomorrow, I know it is, but, I can’t walk away now, I have to face the fear and do it anyway [thank you Mr Cleese]. If you have fears, that you struggle with, a book, called Face the Fear and Do It Anyway, by John Cleese, the actor, who has suffered with depression for years, is worth a read. It’s a narrative of meetings with his analyst and is interesting and amusing and sad. I digress as usual.

Then later on tomorrow, is the on/off saga of my partners mother and her 80th birthday. It’s on again, so close family are meeting up to have a meal together. A few drinks, some chat and that’s it really. But I will be tired. I don’t like social occasions, especially in a busy restaurant surrounding. The noise sends my head into orbit. But for the sake f happiness and harmony, I shall go along, smile, try to involve myself in conversation and drink some wine, eat some pasta and laugh in all the right places. I think I shall sleep most of the day on Saturday, if I am lucky.

So I know and understand, that to most of you out in blog land, it’s no big deal, nothing major, just a normal day for most and I would have to agree. For me, it’s the first step to reclaiming my former life, or something that resembles it anyway.

So wish me luck, I am gonna need it. I wont be blogging tomorrow I doubt, but that depends on how I get on in the morning. I do intend to be slightly intoxicated by the end of the evening if all goes well. That wont matter, because I am like that most of the time anyway, it’s just not alcohol induced.

Tatty Bye


One response to “Massive Day Ahead

  • Elizabeth Newton FANCI

    I am confident that you will do well as you’ve come a long way since I first met you. Once you get started tomorrow your confidence in your self will build and soon yours fears will vanish.

    Best of luck tomorrow and tomorrow night. Enjoy the wine and the time spent with those you love. Keep me posted, Liz

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