For the Purple Pain in the Arse, Friday 1st April is one of the biggest days in my entire life.
I am fighting for my life this year. Its been 3 very long years since I last worked, ran, played and I am trying to end all that by challenging myself. I now know what my body is not capable of doing. I have accepted it, mourned it and its time to move on if I can.
So today, this morning, I am off to see about some voluntary work. Just a couple of mornings to start, if I can face it and see what happens. I can’t really look beyond that right now, tomorrow is whats important, as a good friend rightly pointed out earlier. I am going to a Mining and Engineering Museum/Library, which, due to my condition, should be a good environment for me. I can help show new computer users what to do and help them set up e mail accounts etc etc. I can help come up with some outsourcing ideas to promote what the place has to offer. I can also do some archiving if I want to. That sounds great and I just hope it’s as good as it sounds. Its scary, I am apprehensive, just a little frightened by the prospect of leaving home alone, of meeting new people, of finding my comfort zone in a new environment. Thats going to be tiring for me tomorrow, I know it is, but, I can’t walk away now, I have to face the fear and do it anyway [thank you Mr Cleese]. If you have fears, that you struggle with, a book, called Face the Fear and Do It Anyway, by John Cleese, the actor, who has suffered with depression for years, is worth a read. It’s a narrative of meetings with his analyst and is interesting and amusing and sad. I digress as usual.
Then later on tomorrow, is the on/off saga of my partners mother and her 80th birthday. It’s on again, so close family are meeting up to have a meal together. A few drinks, some chat and that’s it really. But I will be tired. I don’t like social occasions, especially in a busy restaurant surrounding. The noise sends my head into orbit. But for the sake f happiness and harmony, I shall go along, smile, try to involve myself in conversation and drink some wine, eat some pasta and laugh in all the right places. I think I shall sleep most of the day on Saturday, if I am lucky.
So I know and understand, that to most of you out in blog land, it’s no big deal, nothing major, just a normal day for most and I would have to agree. For me, it’s the first step to reclaiming my former life, or something that resembles it anyway.
So wish me luck, I am gonna need it. I wont be blogging tomorrow I doubt, but that depends on how I get on in the morning. I do intend to be slightly intoxicated by the end of the evening if all goes well. That wont matter, because I am like that most of the time anyway, it’s just not alcohol induced.