” The whisper in the morning of lovers sleeping tight”
“Not that one, the other one”
” Oh, you mean, “Time can never mend, the careless whisper of a good friend” that one”?
“Yeah, that’s the one, reminds me of youth club disco’s on a friday night”
“So that’s what you used to get up to on a Friday night”
“Yep, the scent of girls on heat and beer is one I will never forget”
“Girls on heat, what the fuck is that supposed to mean”?
“It’s what I used to call it when I walked past a girl and you could smell the pheromones there gave off. It was almost an invite”
“You’re sick you are”
I laughed at that, me, sick? That is how it was. Boys, high on beer and testosterone and girls wearing too much perfume to mask the smell of alcohol from Daddy when they got home. The perfume could not disguise that smell of pheromones though, nothing could.
It was at one of those disco’s I met Jen. I knew her from a distance, but being the new boy in town, I had not plucked up the courage to speak to her yet. But that indigo dress she wore just blew me away and I knew I had to have this girl. I was brave, or should that be, I was going to speak to her because I was oveflowing with “Dutch” courage?
I watched from the wall and waited, just biding my time. I lit another cigarette and did my best macho man walk over to where she sat down with her friends. Have you any idea how daunting that is? Its bad enough approaching one girl by herself, but a whole table of them? What if she said no? Oh, the embarrassment of it. I was busy trying to think of my best chat up lines, what should I say? I was almost to the point of calling it off and just getting the hell out of there, but just as that thought entered my head, she smiled at me, or at least I thought it was at me, hard to tell with all those flashing lights. But that was the boost I needed and I just carried on walking over anyway, fuck the rejection, if it came, it came. But this time, I just bit the bullet and went for it.
“Hi Jen, fancy some fresh air as I need a chance for my eardrums to heal”?
“What took you so long”?
I had no idea what she meant.
“I have been wanting you to ask me out since I first saw you”
I think my smile must have lit up the whole dance floor it was so wide. How could I have not noticed that? How stupid of me. But, the ice was broken and she stood up and took my hand.
Outside, the night was cool. I could see her nipples through that dress and that excited me. I don’t know to this day if she was aware of that or not, but I certainly was. Her own aroma was like ambrosia to my nostrils, I had never imagined a smell like that could exist. I was convinced I had found my dream girl. Whether she was my soul mate or not was something that only the passing of time would reveal.
I walked her home that night. We never did get back inside. The walk was slow, languid and probably the most enjoyable walk of my life. We said very little. Words were cheap and I think we just wanted to enjoy each others company in relative silence.
The stars appeared to shimmer in the night sky and the moon hung like a partially illuminated globe in the sky. It was very romantic in a Mills and Boon kind of way, except I am no tall, dark, handsome stranger. More like short, pale, somewhat known. But still, it was a setting deserving of our first night together.
The weeks and months drifted by and we spent our time getting to know one an other.Thats always a great time, even more satisfying when you realise that a person you adore is not some psycho, axe wielding, sociopath. We talked long into the night most nights before I went to my home. I was hoping that we could both lose our virginity together. We talked about it often enough. We both wanted it to be right, in every single way and a quick fumble somewhere just wouldn’t cut it.
Sadly, this never came to pass. We got into arguing a lot, for silly reasons and slowly drove a wedge between us. We parted, badly, with recriminations on both sides.
Later, I found out the person she did lose her virginity to. Not someone I had much time for and slightly surprising she could love someone like him. So I decided, what the hell and went out in a blaze of glory. I waited my time, just itching to get even. When I did, it was sweet, I loved the thrill of it, it was better than sex ever could be.
I am writing to tell this story from behind bars, on the same day they bury the one person who I ever really loved, and the asshole who took what was to be mine. Seems it was her who met the axe wielding psychopath!