Open Minded…….Really?


A very interesting scenario presented itself recently, that I would like to touch on and maybe [hopefully] gather some views and opinions on.

A great deal of our lives are about opinions. There are many areas where there are no direct rules and regulations, just views and opinions. I am very fortunate that I live in a free society and I am able to express my own opinions and debate other people’s opinions.

What I have found to be a  fact though, is that most people form their own opinion, then defend it as though it were the word of God or something close. There is no debate possible, because a very high percentage of the world’s population are not open-minded at all. I find this a terrible predicament. I love to argue and debate, on a great many issues, but even I have found myself out to be not very open-minded sometimes about the possibilities that exist.

I believe a great many people profess to be open-minded, but in fact, they are just deluding themselves. If you take any area of life, just one area, examine your views/opinions and beliefs on said subject, then ask yourself what you will do if someone were to challenge those views/opinions/beliefs, if you are honest with yourself, you might just be surprised at what you find.

I think having been ill and left with a medical condition that so far is untreatable, has led me to examine my life as a whole over the last three years. I have worked extensively with a head doc [psychologist] and have learnt a few things about myself along the way. Maybe it is due to experiences like that, which affect some of us, we learn more about ourselves and those around us. Things that you may take for granted suddenly change and you have little choice but to re-evaluate. That inner contemplation takes you to parts of yourself that you may seldom, if ever, visit. We are in many ways pre-programmed to react in certain ways. I know I fell into the same category as many others when I became depressed over mourning my former life. I thought I was alone, but I am not, it happens to many who suffer such setbacks. So we fit a kind of typecast or stereotype in that way, in as much as I reacted like many before me. My feelings, emotional and logical thoughts at that time, did not recognise how to cope, so I fell into the dark and needed help to get back to the light. But, the tools necessary to cope, are within all of us, sometimes we just need someone to guide us back to them. I had no empathy at all with anyone with any kind of mental, psychological or stress related illness, I thought it was just a human weakness. My mindset was one of thinking such people had no inner strength, so therefore were not the person I was. How things can change! If you, or anyone had told me 4 yrs ago that I would succumb to a mental illness, I would have laughed in your face. Very open-minded response is that, not!

Before Easter 2008, I would argue and debate in a very aggressive fashion. I would defend a principle or ideal to the end, without seeing much of the other point of view, even though I kidded myself I was as open-minded as the next man. I know different now and the way I approach a debate now is changing. I can still get very aggressive, but not as often. I am starting to really see/hear another persons opinion/view/belief/emotion/thought etc etc. It’s not an easy task, but just by stopping, listening/reading a different opinion, then examining your own opinions can you even begin to think you are open-minded. A recent blog showed me the old error still exists within. Hence this blog, trying, in some way, to address the cause of such feelings. I have let go of the older me and am in the process of finding the newer version. I hope I get there, but I know it wont be easy. But if I can really open my mind up, then my chances of success are improved, maybe you might like to try doing the same sometime? You might just enjoy the experience.

Toodle Pip

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About Tino

Fighting to save the sanity of a slightly demented forty something, who is fast approaching becoming a more than slightly demented fifty something ;-) View all posts by Tino

4 responses to “Open Minded…….Really?

  • Elizabeth Newton

    I too have formed opinions and till this day it’s difficult for me to believe that I might be wrong.

    My older Brother was a complete alcoholic. He always came to every Family Reunion, Funeral, Christmas and Thanksgiving Dinners drunk out of his mind. Ruined everything for everyone. I would get so angry and I just could not believe that he couldn’t help himself. I was told by Doctors and many other people that this was a disease. I am beginning to think that it just might be true. I refused to speak to him or visit him for the last 5 years of his life because when our Mother passed he, of course, came and was drunk. Now that I’ve started to think that he had an illness it’s to late. He’s gone.

    Now this might be a bit hard for you to swallow my friend but I’m going to ask you a question and I trust that you will answer it honestly and that you wont be angry with me.

    Here goes: Do you think that a man who has repeatedly molested children has a disease.? Do you think that he can help himself.? If child molestation is a disease, do you think that it is treatable and can a person like that be cured.?

  • Tino11

    Phew, tough one for sure.

    We all have choices, but some choices become dependancies. We drink, some become addicted to alcohol, we smoke, some become addicted to nicotine, we take drugs, some become addicted to them. But they have a scientific explanation and those addictions become of what at first was just a daliance.

    Paedophilia is somewhat different as their choices are premeditated. They actively seek out a child to molest. There could be chemical imbalances in the brain that lead to these things, we just don’t have the expertise yet to say that for definate.

    So, from what we know now, until it changes, paedophiles dont suffer from a disease at all, they just make choices that most of us wouldn’t. I think once a paedophile, always a paedophile. They may refrain from molesting children, just like an alcoholic refrains from drinking, but cured? Nope, they cant be cured anymore than a drug addict can.

  • giulas41

    If that conversantion we had a while ago has to do with this i can only say that i’m sorry to bring back things you wanted to leave behind. It was not the purpose at all.
    Actually the purpose was to see what are the opinions of everyone that follows the blog. Most of my posts are starting of conversations and arguments. I don’t have the talent you have to write and i think my need to write has to do with sharing. Even so i would drop it in an instant if i learned it was harmful in any way to anyone. I hope you only get closer and closer to your goals. You have plenty talent for that.

    • Tino11

      Ahhh Giulas, this is a retrospective look at myself as much as anything. I am questioning my own position in life as one with a so called open mind. I think I am not as open minded as I like to think I am and maybe that goes for a lot of people.

      You always post blogs that challenge my way of thinking and thats great, we all need to have that challenge and rise to meet it wherever possible. It was because of that challenge that lead me to write this, but not in a negative way, just by trying to make sense of my own thoughts.

      All is good and you write in very good English for a Brazilian my friend, dont ever doubt that.

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