This weeks prompt from Victoria is a tough one for me personally. I find myself thinking of last winter when I descended into my own version of purgatory. I was virtually housebound due to the severe weather and my disability and I just retreated into myself completely. I dare say that some would laugh if I was to say that a 3yr old bought me back, but, laugh not, it is true. This winter, I wont be going back there, I now have the tools and strength of mind to deal with whatever may come this winter. And a 4yr old to keep me complis mentis as well 😉
the shortening days darken my mood,
withdrawing silently, forced to brood,
For sunlight again, I openly yearn,
wanting to hibernate until warmer days return,
until such time, I remain subdued.
i walk the corridors of this tortured mind,
looking for solutions i doubt i’ll find,
each door a portal to introspection,
each room alive with rampant infection,
of thoughts much maligned.
the gentle ripple of encroaching insanity,
segregated from the rest of humanity,
alone, wracked by time and despair,
thoughts I endeavoured to foreswear,
submerged in a plethora of abnormality.
you are nothing,
i am nothing,
the world is nothing,
I got help at the right time. I put aside the macho bullshit and admitted to myself that I needed help, which is something I have never asked of anyone before. So if you find yourself slipping into depression, low mood or whatever moniker you want to use, get help, its there, but only if you put your pride to one side and ask for it.
Thanks to a very good psychologist [head doc] for helping me through the most difficult time of my life! And of course to a little Tinkerbell for giving me a reason to live.