Manc hester Library Revisited

Its a deliberate mistake in the title before you ask.

The Geordies [aka me] and the Mancs [aka them] have a good relationship overall. Whenever we get together, the banter is great and seldom goes too far. The relationship with the Scousers [Liverpudlians] is not always as jovial. There is a football [soccer to the heathens] rivalry that seems to go deeper than mere sport. But Mancs, Geordies and Scousers know their football and love the game. Some of the chanting that goes on at a match can be heard to take the piss out of the other side, if you ignore the ones concerning Munich and Hillsborough

So the picture prompt over at Magpie Tales was a real chance for me to incorporate some of that rivalry and mickey taking into poem form [sort of] and in no way is any of it to be taken seriously. Its all written in jest, I swear. I refer to Mancs as robbers, crooks, illiterate inbreds [that part is true ;-)] and the Scousers as all being out of work [signing on to claim benefits] but I can assure you, they would all say the same about me given the chance.

Central Library, Manchester, UK, Robin Gosnall


Manc hester is a wonderful place
where Mancs just love to breed
They even gave them a library
But the ijits cannot read

They built the Etihad stadium
And also the Theatre of Dreams
Mancs dont know about libraries
But they know their football teams

One half of the cities red
The other half is blue
But dont ask em where the library is
They wouldn’t have a clue

There’s a bunch of Mancs called Oasis
They write music thats considered cool
They never visited the library
And they never went to school

You get a canny pint of Boddies
Down at the old Sandbar
You dont get that in the library though
But they do a decent cup o’ char

Mancs like to call the Scousers thick
And tell them to go sign on
Tell a Manc theres a job at the library
And down the road they’re gone

You see a library is a place of learning
A building full of books
The reason you wont find Mancs there is
Because they are all crooks

They would steal a penny or a pound
Or sell their granny for a score
They never go to the library
As they are too busy robbin’ stores

The Mancs aint that bad really
If you ignore the robbin’ and incest
They know how to take a joke
As its all being said in jest

But its true about the library
No Manc would be seen dead in there
They dont take kindly to strangers either
So if you meet a Manc beware!

Etihad Stadium: Home of Manchester City FC [Blue]
Theatre of Dreams: Home of Manchester United FC [Red]
Ijit: Slang for idiot
Oasis: Manchester Brit Rock band and proper numpties [like an ijit but worse]
Boddies: Slang for Boddingtons Beer
Char: Slang for cup of tea
Sign On: Unemployed people have to sign on for welfare payments
Score: Sum of money equal to £20


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