Tag Archives: day

Resurrected Daymare

Shadows, stretched taught by the minutes
ticking tocking ticking tocking
skies darken their hue
as another day begins to fade
and not just from our memory
from time itself

we exit the light
we enter the night

soon our dreams shall claim us
sleep our ever-present friend
banishing these daymares
turning them to dust
to gather in the hour-glass
as we slowly drift away

darkness takes us by the hand
leading us into never-never land
a time to frolic, dance and play
the sounds of laughter holding sway

sleep long sleep tight my dear
for morning shall soon be here
our dreams will again be disturbed
as we once more become perturbed

Sandman my ally, Sandman my friend
I pray to you, in homage
may this night
never end

because tomorrow,
we enter
another daymare

we exit the night
we enter the light.

After reading a few posts recently, and empathizing with them and trying to offer some solace, it appears to me that night is no longer our enemy,  more of a friend to be welcomed so we get some respite from, well, whatever it is that mars our days. I just prefer to think of it as our daymare. The nights I get some peace that I no longer get during the daylight hours. When I sleep, the meds knock me right out and I dream or just sleep, undisturbed. Then, I wake up and the grind of another day greets me, laughing like some demented hyena on speed.

I don’t exactly fear daytime, but my condition has zero effect when I am asleep, its only when I am awake. The nights are easy, the days, well, I get through em best I can and I know others exist who find the same. So this is my tribute in a way to all those who find each day a struggle.

Of course, this is added over at dVerse, which is about the only place I hang in poetry as the folks there are great and very supportive. So pop along and peruse some awesome offerings from the ever-growing clientelle.



A sad day indeed. My once beloved poker forum has seen fit to suspend me for posting a news link to a paedophile story that broke today. Its been a bit of a running battle recently and I have grown kind of tired with it all. But the subject got resurrected recently and I have just made a couple of comments, nothing nasty, just what I see as the truth behind it all. I just dont believe that a convicted paedophile has any business on the internet, let alone as a member of a poker forum. But the site admin feel differently and they make the rules, so thats that. I have no idea how long for or if its permanent or not, time will tell. It just sits badly with me, especially as I have a 3 yr old granddaughter. If one of those fuckers ever hurt her, they would be dead, simple as that, no hesitation. In this day and age, guns are not hard to find. I would only do the kneecaps first, then make the fucker suffer some before finishing the job. I make no appollogies for that at all. I detest these bastards and wouldn’t hesitate in killing one of them, they are scum, the whole lot of them and they need to learn theres no place on this planet for them.

So what I am going to do with myself now, I dont know, lol. In many ways, its doing me a favour in helping me distance myself from there. It was developing into a slow divorce and getting messy with it. But thats what these people bring to your door, nothing but trouble and pain and suffering. The timing could just be a blessing in disguise if a couple of things come off for me in the next few weeks. I hope its just a two week job, so I can still play a few games there and talk to a few mates at the tables now and then, but I am not going to be devastated or anything. Maybe the time is right to move on, when coupled with other areas of life that I am trying to push forward. So maybe this year is the year of change that I have been wanting and hoping it to be. Iam in a better place mentally and although its slow going, my fitness is building bit by bit and thats what I need, baby steps, inch by inch. Progress is progress, no matter how slow and painful it is, its progress all the same and thats the important factor right now.

It very much looks like, unless a small miracle happens, that this is me now for the rest of my days. If thats the case, bring it on, I am ready for a good scrap. Three years of hell has led me to a great deal of frustration and somewhere, its payback time. I have got to be sensible and focused and not want everything to happen like yesterday, aptience, patience and more patience will get me through I am sure. And now that damned place has banned my sorry ass, I need an outlet. But after naming this blog after the place as my own tribute, I am wondering if I can change the name of it at all? I will have a real look for that tomorrow when theres more time. I have won just about all I wanted to win there anyway. I did the clean sweep, won the CC tournament, won some points buy ins, and a cash buy in and two indy leages. Iwould have liked to have spent a month playing the VIP games, but doubt thats gonna happen now. I shall be closing more accounts now and getting others taken off the trackers they are on, they aint gettin no more of my hard earnt cash.

So that ends a lousy day. Felt shit all day today and come back down with a bump after yesterday being so positive. But I wont let that get me down or this other crapola, screw that. Let the children play and try to be god, I aint interested anymore in that.

Tomorrow is another day. For now, I am going to play some poker with a few online friends and have a laugh or two, hopefully. Not bothered about winning, not really, but that might change come game time, lol.

Tatty Bye

Whats on tv tonight? Shite is what, as per usual.

First things first.

My heart goes out to those who are suffering because of the earthquake and tsunami that have hit Japan today. My thoughts are with you and my hopes are yours.

Its been a busy [ish] day. We were late up, well, when I say late, I mean 9am, that’s late for my partner who is usually up around 6am for work. So taking a couple of extra hours in bed is a luxury to her. She still was up and about before me and bought me a cuppa in bed as she normally does. I hate that she has a day of work and she still gets up and makes me a cup of tea. Maybe next time I can beat her to it.

Job of the day for me was to sort out a stack of documents that have been multiplying in my drawer. I have put it off for long enough. So I set about the task and its amazing what one can dispose of. It’s all paperwork, some useful, some compulsory and some utter rubbish. Most things occupy large envelopes and that helps. I write on each envelope what its contents are, but they still end up a mess as more and more documents come through the post.

It took me the best part of 90 minutes to get it all sorted out and I am left with half a rain forest that needs to be shredded as they are personal stuff from banks, doctors and hospitals. A real identity cloners dream if it’s just binned. I have a cross shredder and its well used. I am maybe paranoid about ID theft and do all I can to prevent giving these fuckers a head start. Anyway, I got it all sorted and put away in relative files and envelopes and the drawer looks much tidier, is much lighter and I can find things again. I even came across a tax rebate to the tune of £185 that I had filed in there and forgotten about. How do you forget about a cheque for £185 I hear you ask? Well if you knew me, then you wouldn’t bother asking the question. Part of my ongoing condition is short term memory loss. I ask my partner if she would like a drink. I go to the kitchen and by the time I get there, I have forgotten the reason why. It’s a friggen nightmare! I can remember something from 10 yrs ago, but can’t remember something from 10 minutes ago.

Once that was all done and dusted, it was coffee time. Latte’s all round in tall glasses, delicious. We drank them and were talking about the usual BS that we do and time was drifting by. A phone call and the mother in law was on her way to pay a visit. Always welcome here, we get on great. She is not my real mother in law, I am not married, never have been, but it’s just easier to say it that way. She had bought with her a new scarf and bobble hat that a friend knit for the little one. Lovely pastel colours and I am sure she will love them. A roll of bin liners that are too big for her bin, we seem to go through them like anything, so again, always useful. After some chat, she left and we decided to go out and look at some curtains and fabrics at a newish shop near us. The sitting room was decorated last year, but can we find curtains to finish it off? can we heckers like. There were some promising fabrics all in decent colours and a pair of curtains that are somewhere near close to what we are looking for. £125 a metre is a bit steep though, so I think we will pass on those. But we could get a compromise at £25 a metre. That’s promising. I shall contact them again tomorrow with some measurements and get a price from them and then we can think about it.

We walked home the “long” way, which is good exercise for us both, even though I am so slow. Any exercise is better than none. By the time we got back, it was time to start thinking about some food. I do most of the cooking around here, so we soon had our menu sorted and the oven on. A quick tidy up and we were about ready. A glass of wine to wash it down with and all is good in the world.

We watched a bit of tv, but its all soap operas and I hate them. I tolerated them until dessert, then it was time to log on for the first today. I knew nothing of events in Japan, so reading about that was harrowing to say the least. I have seen some pictures and read about the unfolding of events. I was dumbstruck by it all and still am. Not been 5 minutes since New Zealand was hit. Why do these things always seem to occur just after a new year?

So that’s about my day so far. I have a poker game in 40 mins. A good crowd play on a friday and we have a laugh. We all belong to the same poker forum, who shall remain nameless because of differences of opinion of late. I hope the kiddy fiddler who sometimes shows up is not there, I find it hard to ignore the bastard. If he is there, he is going to get some stick  from me, no worries. After that there is a buy in game at 11pm, or I might just go and play some more DoN games. My partner has work tomorrow, so it’s another early  start for her. She wont be late away to bed, but I will still be up and about until 1-1.30am, then time for bed for me as well. The tv is shite tonight, not even a decent film [movie] on anywhere, so poker will have to suffice.

Until tomorrow, this is uncle Tino saying toodle pip.