Tag Archives: Devil

The Devil Went Down to Gateshead [A Parody]


The Devil went down to Gateshead
In a search of a pint of Brown
He hadn’t secured a deal in days
And thus he was feeling down

He walked into the Blue Azure
Asked the barman for a bottle of ‘dog’
The barman slowly shook his head
And replied “We only serve this grog”

Well the Devil he became mighty pissed
He started to rant and rave
He told the barman “Your soul is mine
As soon as you reach your grave”

The barman said ” Devil let me tell you what
You can have my soul today
But only if you drink ten pints of Scotch
If you decline, then be on your way”

Well the Devil thought it over
And he said ‘I’ll take your bet
I can drink any mortal under the table
This is one you’re gonna regret”

The barman slowly stood them up
The devil began the show
He supped the first in one long gulp
Only nine more pints to go

The second one was nectar
“I like this brew” the Devil said
He downed the third with a grusome grin
Feeling slightly fuggy inside his head

The barman, he had seen it
So many times before
Supping three was nothing
But wait until number four

The Devil looked slightly shaky
As he started number four
The rumbling in his belly grew
The barman knew the score

Before he started number five
The Devil knew that he’d been beat
His belly grumbled mightily loud
As he staggered to his feet.

The barman said, “The bogs that way
Turn left and then turn right”
The Devil was in a hurry
He desperately had to shite

The barman said, ” The drinks are on me”
The drinkers raced over to the bar
Not one asked for a pint of Scotch
They all knew what the results are
The Devil he was still crapping
Until the bar closed that fateful day
The barman shouted “Devil man
Time you were on your way”

The Devil bowed his head in shame
Because he knew that he’d been had
He took a rueful look at the barman
How had he been conned so bad

The barman shouted, “Devil man
Come on back if you ever want to try agin
I told you once you son of a bitch
Scotch is the worst beer theres ever bin.

The barman said, ” The drinks are on me”
The drinkers raced over to the bar
Not one asked for a pint of Scotch
They all knew what the results are
The Devil he was still crapping
Until the bar closed that fateful day
The barman shouted “Devil man
Time you were on your way”

Brown is Brown Ale, something Newcastle is very famous for.
Dog is another local name for Brown Ale.

Scotch is a local beer that many believe has the best laxative properites known to mankind.

Bog is another name for toilet in some areas of the UK.

There is/was a bar in Gateshead called something very close to the one mentioned.

Gateshead is over the Tyne Bridge from Newcastle to the south.

And this how it should sound,

This should be posted over at the dVerse, where you will find many a poet posting their work for us all to browse and comment on if we so wish. Please feel free to offer any comment you like on anything I do. If you think its crap, please say so and why, I really dont mind. From being told something is crap, I learn to do better next time. If you enjoy or like what I offer, I am always grateful to read why.

Toodle Pip

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Blue Guitar


Over at dVerse today, Gay Reiser Cannon has introduced a form of poetry that is new to me. I like a challenge and am never one to turn away most of the time. The form is Framed Couplets. I have tried to stay within the boundaries as I understood them. Its a very difficult form to get to grips with, but I hope I have done it some justice with my effort.

 

old guitar stands alone all forlorn
cold strings once played hang twisted and torn
fret stained where nicotined fingers pressed
sweat streaked body of wood bruised and distressed
fame and fortune this instrument bought
acclaim,stardom, the spotlight, it sought

beguiled with blues, some say the devil
wild chords, riffs, its music we revel
wailing athems electrify sound
unveiling cadence, beats so profound
audacious notes consuming my soul
salacious rhythms, hypnotic control

it may appear a tale so bizarre
i say beware of that old guitar

So if you haven’t already, get on over to dVerse and have a go or read some of the offerings of other poets who have been brave enough to attempt it.


Russian Roulette [a Haiku tale]


Bullet in chamber

finger poised on the trigger

wagers on life or death.


 Money talks loudest

anticipating bloodlust

cordite corrupts air.


Another luckless soul

welcomes Devils artful deal

demon hordes await.


Revolver spinning

risk suspends animation

calm expectation.


Inaudible click

empty chamber empty smile

fortune favours brave.


Fear takes heart of me

Devil laughs baleful venom

another soul claimed.

I have to admit, the idea for this came from elsewhere. I read Brian Millers blog  and the idea for this just sprang into my mind after reading the second verse.

“wondering at the result
of the next spin, sending me round
the bend”

Just seemed to fit so perfectly with my image of what Russian Roulette might be like.

Thanks also to Victoria for the encouragement and help in understanding the Haiku. Its a form I have fallen in love with, thanks to her. I am experimenting all the time as the Haiku is so new to me. Some work, some don’t, some just dont hack it.

So thanks to you both for giving me some inspiriation for this effort. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but I try to be unique and offer something new constantly.

 

Receiving awards is pleasant it’s true,

So I am happy to accept this award made by you,

I hope its the first of many you see,

So thanks to all who nominated me!

 

Thanks to everyone who nominated me and to all at  Promising Poets’ Poetry Cafe for this award.

I would like to nominate mindlovemisery for her piece Marionettes.


The Devil has an ear for music too.


This could well be Satans top ten if he is also a music lover.

1: Race with the Devil : Girlschool

2: The Devil went down to Georgia : Charlie Daniels Band

3: Devil Woman : Bruce Willis

4: Better the Devil you know : Steps

5: Dancing with the Devil : Cozy Powell

6: Runnin with the Devil : Van Halen

7: Devil may care : Diana Krall

8: Devilgate Drive : Suzi Quatro

9: The Devil came from Kansas : Procol Harum

10: Me and the Devil Blues : Robert Johnson





Playing with the Devil


Playing with the Devil.

I approached the table to take up my seat,
Hoping to avoid all the inevitable beats,
The dealer was there and waiting to deal,
Another big win I was hoping to seal.

I looked at my opponents in shades and in hats,
Why would anyone look so stupid as that?
Some listened to music on the latest iphone,
Singing along they were irritatingly prone.

The clock started ticking, the action begun,
The first player limped from under the gun,
I looked down and guess what I saw?
Those aces looked good like never before.

Into the pot the chips left my stack,
Into this limper would be my attack,
The raise was just 3x as I wanted to see,
If Under the Gun would raise over me.

He only flat called, we were getting some action,
The flop came down and I looked for a reaction,
There was no emotion, only a blank stare,
If I wanted reaction, no point looking there.

He checked that flop and I got a suprise,
I tried to see into those deep dark eyes,
Looking down to see those three little cards,
Thats one board I would so like to hit hard.

Ace number three, a two and a seven,
I thought I had died and gone to heaven,
I had to think fast and I was after his chips,
Becoming the big stack helped avoid those coin flips,

So two thirds of the pot I bet and I waited,
Would he take that hook that I had delicately baited?
He looked straight ahead, with never a flicker,
It mattered not if he had a high kicker.

He thought for some time, then raised me all in,
To miss out on this pot would be a cardinal sin,
So in my chips went and the turn was a five,
I knew for sure that my cards were live.

So all that was left was that dreaded river,
My heart pumped hard and my legs were aquiver,
The dealer turned over the six of the spades,
And that was his draw that he had so wanted made.

He turned over the cards that I dreaded to see,
I looked on distraught and I saw that four three,
He hit his straight, I was left feeling numb,
He sucked me in and I had been dumb.

I saw only my set and thought I had this hand won,
I’ll beat this limper from under the gun,
He knew what I had though and played me so well,
All he saw was my obvious tell.

He saw me smile when the ace hit the felt,
I only saw the cards that the dealer had dealt,
He looked me over and I did the same,
That Devil he plays one helluva a game!

Tino11 15/12/2010
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