Tag Archives: Father

The Fightback

Seated in the usual position,
The grooves almost cut into the carpet
Noses through the spindles
The raised voices of anger
Words, base and harsh
Waiting now
For the inevitable
Tomorrow, the bruises will tell
Their own story.

Where are you today?
Why are you not here as you should be?
No treats today, no ride in a car
No film to enjoy at the Savoy
Just another dreary
Saturday afternoon
Same as every other dreary day
We miss you, I miss you
You should be here.

The Sudan, where is that?
Locust, what are they?
Desert, whats a desert?
How long for?
Will you write or maybe
send a postcard?
We will miss you, I will miss you

The presents as usual
The caravan as usual
or should we rightfully say mobile home?
Rain, incessant, pounding the roof
Chess, Happy Families [fucking joke that one is]
Fizzy pop, too many sweets
Back by five
Then how long until we see you again?

You took me in, gave me shelter
But below the surface
it was just the same person I had been warned about
I never believed or heeded those warnings
but they were true, all of them
then, I grew to hate you for real

The fateful day
Me, the usual atagonistic child, not a boy,
not a man, not even quite a teen
But bitter already, cynical
No child should be that way at such a tender age
but I guess thats life
I dont want to fight anymore
I am tired
But you will not strike me again
Not this time.

The streets, cold, dark, lonely
Anger, fear, hatred
Burning in the depths of my soul
No outlet
You threw me out you bastard
Because I would not bow down to your fucking ego
Because I had learnt to fight back
and you could not handle it
Some fucking man you are

The real hurt, the hurt I never thought
anyone could inflict upon another
came when you didn’t recognise your own son
that fateful day
he knocked upon the door he remembered so well
You should of just killed me there and then
Like a punch drunk pugilist
I doubt I shall ever recover from that one
I am unknown to my own father
How could you do that to me?
After all the crap that went before
How could you do it?

So goodbye
I am lost to you forever now
I am no longer
your son
You are certainly not
A father
for me to be proud of!

Posted for patrons of the pub over at dVerse where we are prompted to think back to a time before today and use a memory to base our offering around. Maybe you will join us and offer something of your own?


Sweet Child of Mine

When I was knee high to a grasshopper [young] I was accidentaly a part of getting a girl pregnant, it takes two yeah! We were kids, but I wanted that bairn badly once I knew she was pregnant, like I have never wanted anything in my life before. The outcome was taken away from me, the appointment made without my knowledge or consent and the pregnancy was no more. If it is possible to love something/someone you will never see or feel or hold, then I loved my child with everything I have. I swore after that day, I would never put myself in that situation again and I haven’t. I love my partner, I love her son and I love his daughter like I would love my own. But I dont care what anyone tells me or says to me or tries to explain to me, it is simply not the same as having a child who carries the same genes as you. Blood IS thicker than water. I have no idea why, but I think about this more at Christmas than any other time of the year.

Take from me what you will
Steal my heart, my body, my soul
Rip the shirt from my back
All that is fine, but please dont take this
Sweet Child of Mine

Take my home, my castle
Break my keep and lay it bare
Ransack my spirit, corrupt it if you will
All that is fine, but please dont take this
Sweet Child of Mine

Take my desires, my dreams
Emprison them in the darkest deep
Make me a eunuch if that please you
All that is fine, but please dont take this
Sweet Child of Mine

Love me, hate me, leave me, loathe me,
Extinguish the flame that burns inside,
Drown me in despair,
All that is fine, but please dont take this
Sweet Child of Mine

Make me blind so I cannot see
The beauty that I sense before me
Make me deaf so I cannot hear
The cries of a child lonely in fear
Strip me naked to the bone
Torture me until I cease to groan
Take my tongue so I maynot speak
Disfigure me until I appear a freak
All that is fine, but please dont take this
Sweet Child of Mine.

Inspired by one of my favourite tunes from Guns n Roses.

Posted over at dVerse as well, so pop over to take a look if you have the chance, you wont be disappointed.

You Shall Know Me.


As I lie still, in the dead of night,
The dark is absolute, just that, more,
Or less,
The sound of my heart beating, is
Setting its own rhythm,
Playing its own beat, to a tune,
No longer heard,
My meditation is my own, mine,
To do with as I will,
Tonight, yes, tonight,
Let me free myself once again,
The shackles of this prison of a carcass,
The restraint of this body, escape,
The chains of my mortality.


The clock ticks, passively, tick,
Tock, tick,
Time is nigh, am I deep enough?
Tock, tick,
Deeper, deeper, ever deeper,
To fly, I must delve,
Go deep, deeper, deeper,
Finally, release, delectable in its substance,
Delicious in its piquancy,
To fly, high, in clouds,
Of finest gossamer,
Melt into the stratosphere of stars,
Moon casting shadows across the plains,
Thermals pushing higher,
Geography rushes below, ever,
Increasing speed.


Floating on soft satin breezes,
Lighter than silk in essence,
Obscure images, flash before the event,
The future, the past,
Here and now, presently, yet not,
North by North East, destination anonymous,
South, to mountains beyond seas,
East, West, merge in parallel toward,
Heaven, Hell, further?
Resplendent, brilliant,
Metamorphosis, transcends time,
True liberation, forced,
Complete, precise,
Identity regained once again,
Coherent of character,
Semblance of affinity within,
Repeatedly whole once again.


Picture in the minds glorious eye,
Images, mirrors of, my,
Hideous, repulsive reflection,
Portrait of silent perfection,
Sculptured, chiseled features,
Abhorrent, execrable creature,
Loathsome, debauched, corruption,
Sensual beauty, of handsome eruption,
Ghoulish, deformed apparition,
Exquisit, refined, graceful cognition,
Baleful, malignant hallucination,
Seductive, inviting aberration,
Perversion of body, distortion of personality,
Exalted, inhabitant of immorality.


Wanton in effort,
From within, hatred boils forth,
Expressed, despair riegns,
Fear, would steal the heart,
Fear, crippled minds,
Fear, blinds sightless eyes,
Fear, beguiler of souls,
Fathom the depths of fear,
Fraternize, befriend,
Comprehend, appreciate,
Fear, animated, palpable,
Fear I,
Fear my coming,
Fear my arrival,
Bedlam, Chaos, my only,
Brothers, Brethren,
Lay this earth to waste.


For I am Fear,
Born of,
Creation itself,
Prelude of genesis,
Harbinger of the fates,
To my only sons,
Jehovah, Beelzebub,
This devine kingdom,
King of Kings,
For I am fear,
You shall know me,
Quake before my name,
Judge me not, for,
I am fear, no man,
Nor beast,
Shall defeat my cause,
To whom?
I am fear, and,
You shall know me.


This was my first submission to One Stop Wednesday.