Its been a little while since I wrote a blog, so here goes nothing.
I have still got problems with a scenario I never thought to find myself in. Its been done to death already and I am trying desperately hard to move on. Some days I dont think about things very deeply, so I can makes use of those days in any way I choose. But then on other days my mind whirls like a rotor blade atop a helicopter and I drop into deeler thinking. This is often bought about by having too much time to think, which I have concluded is not good for me 80% of the time. So what do I do about it? Well aint that the $64,000 question? There are lines of thought that are useful, no doubt, but many dwell too long on the negative. I am by nature, not a negative person. It is very hard to be objective and optimistic on any kind of permanent basis.
The poker situation is that I cant bring myself to play right now. The longer I stay away from the tables, the harder it appears to go back again. Its all bought about by one degenerate and a bunch of jessies [big girls blouse’s] who appear to have little or no moral obligation to the world. They see fit to allow a degenerate to use their forum as he sees fit, while they stand by and watch. Thats all well and good and its their right to do so as they administer the forum. I am sure though, that if affiliates and sites and members knew the full truth of the situation, then the course of action made by this so called administrations group would be somewhat different.
Therein lies another dilema. I like the site, damn, I have even taken on avatars in the name of the place as i like it so much. I use Pspacer11 as tribute to that site and what I thought it stood for. It would seem I am mistaken. I have listened to the arguments for and against and I know which side of the fence I stand. The dilema is though, to walk away on point of principle, or remain and try not to think about it. I have toyed with the idea of informing all sites and affiliates that I can find about what is going on. But then that could potentially harm the enjoyment of other members who I know, like and respect. Its a tough call and one I have to think about no matter how often I try not to. Its a little catch 22 and I doubt whatever actions I take or have taken will be the right ones. So far, what I thought was right has turned out not to be in te eyes of those who make the rules up [as they go along]. How long does a person have to pay from a crime? Maybe that depends on the crime.
I come from a twice broken home where violence against my mother was the norm. The fact that it was perpatrated by my father is neither here nor there. Its very simple, is violence towards women acceptable, no matter what the provocation? I believe not. Maybe that is due to the fact that I have witnessed such events in person and feel extremely strongly about the issue. I would never remain friends, or support any man I knew who had hit a women. In my world its a no brainer, violence against women, by a man is unnacceptable. No arguments, no what ifs, it is not ok to hit a woman, no matter what.
So following on from that, what do I think about rapists? murderers? child abusers? thieves? How long is a piece of string? I have never known a rapist, a murderer, a child abuser before in my life, to the best of my knowledge. I have known thieves for sure, I was one in my younger days and its something I regret bitterly. It was all connected to the background I came from and it was my way of fighting back. That is no excuse. What I did was wrong, plain and simple. I have no idea of the phsychological damage I might have caused. I never stole from a individual. I shoplifted, I broke into wharehouses and lock ups and cars and stole what I could. I did the crime and did my time. It was all juvenile convictions which are erased in the UK once you turn 21 and you start with a clean sheet so to speak. The courts cannot take into account confictions made to juveniles once a person turns 21. Does that make me a bad person? Back then it did. But I made mistakes, I learnt from them and have had 2 speeding fines in the last 25yrs, oh, and one contested parking ticket that was given in error and was deleted from records. Not bad for a tearaway teenager.
So, am I as bad as a sex offender? I guess thats for others to decide. Maybe I am, in layers, but its all comparrable. Is a sex offender as bad as a murderer? I really dont know the answer to that or those questions. All I know is, I am sick and tired of the apathy of the human race concerning such issues. In Saudi Arabia and other middle eastern counrties, for theft I could have lost a hand. Is that extreme? Maybe, but also its effective and works as a deterrent. If I had known that could be a consequence of my actions as a teenager, would I have done the things that I did? I doubt it. I am not smart enough not to get caught, that is my problem. If I knew, that if I raped a woman, I would lose my testicles and penis, would I rape a woman? I doubt it, but can we ever be sure? But, it is what I believe. Rape someone, lose your tackle, simple. Wait, what about those who are wrongly convicted? Well, you cant make omlettes without breaking eggs. It will happen, no doubts about it, but, is making one mistake enough to fuel the argument against such strategies? Liberals will say yes every time, Human Rights Protestors will probably agree. But I have had my fill of the law being stacked in favour of the perps and not the victims of these crimes.
Its ok in principle to allow free will and allow a known paedophile to use the resources of a poker forum. But where do we draw the line? What about the rights of those children he abused? Wheres their say in this matter? What if, one of those same children, turn 18 recently or already and somehow end up joining Pokerspace? Its a small world as we all know and its not impossible. They see that this piece of crap is a member. How the hell are they supposed to feel? Who cares how they will feel? The administrators of the site wont, thats already been shown. This bastard has not broken or contravened any TOS [makes me laugh does that] but if this new member asks the question of why this man [used the term very loosely there] is a member, what can the admin respond with? Does that child give a flying fuck about his civil rights? Does that child care that he has broken no TOS? That also makes me laugh, in a twisted sense. But I dont think anyone really cares if that scenario did occurr. They didn’t care when the scenario of having a known paedophile join up arose.
So where does it stop? Where does this line be drawn? How far does anyone have to go until they cross that line? Again, all very hrd questions to answer. But the buck stops with us, as human beings, as people and fellow inhabitants of this fair earth. Thankfully, the world said enough when Germany decided it wanted to rule the planet, not once, but twice. Thankfully, when those planes hit the Twin Towers, the world said terrorism is not accetable and condemned the actions of fanatics. Thankfully, when Saddam was giving the world the impression of him having weapons of mass destruction, we didn’t all stand by and wait until he used them. Thankfully, when the same man walked into Kuwait, some countries found that unnacceptable and booted him back out again. Thankfully, recently, protestors in the Arctic prevented Japanese whalers from slaughtering helpless animals that are endangered. Thankfully, in these days of climate change and environmental damage, some nations are trying to change the way we live and our attitudes towards this planet we all share. Thankfully, when they discovered a hole in the ozone layer and found out what was largely responsible for causing it, something was done to try and prevent the situation from getting any worse. Thankfully, when the oil well leaked into the Gulf of Mexico, BP got the bill for cleaning the mess up. Thankfully, when a natural disaster happens somewhere in the world, there are charities and charitable people to help nations recover.
Its not a perfect world, I am not trying to say it is, but somewhere, I have to draw the line and stand up for what I believe in, whether those beleifs are right or wrong. To be pilloried for trying to do that is hard to take. Maybe I have become to radical in my ideals these days? Maybe three years of ill health have made me bitter? I dont know, I leave others to make those judgements. But to constantly stand by and do nothing, about anything, is no longer on my cards. I cannot and wont do it anymore. When I feel strongly enough about an issue, I will have my say and have my opinion heard or read. I will not let some condescending young pseudo phsychologist talk down to me like I am a 12 year old. I wont be patronised by people who seem to have a lack of moral fibre for standing up and being counted. The days of running are over, I just wont do it anymore. I cant do it anymore. If those people who think they know me or who say they are my friend dont like it, they so be it, I can live with that. But I am no mans doormat and will no longer be walked all over. I dont care about hurting anyones feelings anymore as no one [a few exceptions] seems concerned about hurting mine. I will speak, I will write and that will help me get these surging emotions and thoughts off my chest and out of my head. Making demands it seems, gets things done. Thats what life has taught me, especially recently. Sit back and do nothing and thats what you get in return.
This has gone on long enough and I doubt it will be read in its entirity. I am sorry if it upsets anything or anyone. I am sorry if what I have to say is not tollerated by some. The young people of the world are our future and we need to set good examples to them. That does not mean that known sexoffenders can use the internet without fear of reprisal. It does not mean a theif can take what they want when they want. It means that we try and instill a modicum of decency into our childrens lives and teach respect and tollerance, but also not allow apathy to cloud those teachings.
I think that about wraps it up. I am sure some people who might read this will recognise who I am referring to, for that I make no appologies. I for one will no longer stand by and watch decent, hard working people get a bum deal, if theres the slightest of chances of me making a difference. I will stand by my principles, be they right or wrong. I will be strong when its easier to be weak and accept something that is not right or just in this world. The days of being negative are hopefully going to be banished into the annals of history and hopefully something constructive will become of that, I certainly wish that to be the case.
But dont ask me to ever think that having a known sex offender on any internet site is acceptable, it is not, thats the line and the line has been crossed. Take it for what its worth.