Tag Archives: funny

Abbreviate that you f…….

One of lifes little hates for me, Abbreviations! We’re obsessed with the damned things, yet how many of us know what most of them actually stand for when we hear them used in advertising, or on the news etc etc. They are everywhere we look. You cnnot read a news article without stumbling acrosee yet another abbreviation. They pop out when you least expect them. Kids even talk in abbreviations nowadays.

A very good example is an educational one. A 16 year old in the UK answered a full exam paper in text speak. When it came to marking the paper, the examination board passed him as technically, what he did was correct. But thats an indicator of how bad its getting now.

I dont like abbreviations, but have to admit, even I am guilty of using them from time to time. I think even the most ardent haters of them use them occasionally.

In the 1970’s, a lot of football teams became known by an abbreviation of their full club name. Notts County became NCFC, Notts County Football Club, Manchester United became known as Man Utd and theres a whole plethora of others linked to sport like that.

In the ealry 1980’s, it was popular for musicians to be known by abbreviations. Mel & Kim became M&C, Fine Young Cannibals became FYC etc etc. Everywhere you looked, some person or group was becoming known by letters, not names. Prince became a symbol, wtf is that all about?

Adverts increasingly turned to abbreviations. One of the earliest adverts I remember seeing was for a furniture manufacturer, ELS. It was a very corny advert but it set a trend for furniture companies I think. Even today, we have DFS and CLS to name but two.

Then we came to misspellings as well. We had abbreviations which are bad enough, but then we got Kwik Fit, how do we expect our children to speak properly when they are bombarded with this crap.

Text messages are just about unreadable to adults these days.

Example of text speak

(Hamlet, Act Three, Scene One)

“2 b, r nt 2 b dat iz d Q wthr ts noblr n d mnd 2 sufr d slngs & arowz of outrAjs fortn r 2 tAk armz agnst a C f trblz, & by oposn nd em?”

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: / Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer / The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, / Or to take arms against a sea of troubles / And by opposing end them?”

Theres a great example of the English exam that was passed as the answers were “correct” in the eyes of the examiners. Below it is what it translates as. I could not decipher that in a million years, but our kids are finding this is the norm out there. My partner uses a mobile phone, I dont as I hardly venture out, so no need for one, but even she is falling into the text trap at the ripe young age of 50 something. I have seen it, so I know. I berate her for doing it, but its the done thing, just like posting your life on Facebook seems to be. Dont even get me started on that one!

I must say though, I do enjoy reading about the latest use of abbreviations and text speak, they can be hilarious sometimes.

AAAAAAAAA All American Association Against Acronym And Abbreviation Abuse Anonymous, is hilarious,

FUBAR, Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition, is widely used now and probably true of many things in life.

FFFF: Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent, for men, very funny, to women, probably not.

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.” Had to throw that one in.

Even the internet has its own abbreviated language based on text speak, how many of us use these when chatting to someone via a messenger service or chatroom?

So thats my pet peeve out of the way for today. Just a little something that I hope will raise a few laughs for some, a smile from others.

AFK Away From Keyboard
ASL? Age? Sex? Location?
B4 Before
BAK Back At Keyboard
BBL Be Back Later
BCNU Be seeing you
BRB Be Right Back
BTW By The Way
FAQs Frequently Asked Questions
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
L8R Later
LOL Laughs Out Loud
MOF? Male Or Female?
NM or N/M Never Mind (or Not Much)
NP or N/P No Problem
OMG Oh My God
ROFL or ROTFL Rolling On (The) Floor, Laughing
TTFN Ta Ta For Now
UR Your / You’re
W/ With



Whats on tv tonight? Shite is what, as per usual.

First things first.

My heart goes out to those who are suffering because of the earthquake and tsunami that have hit Japan today. My thoughts are with you and my hopes are yours.

Its been a busy [ish] day. We were late up, well, when I say late, I mean 9am, that’s late for my partner who is usually up around 6am for work. So taking a couple of extra hours in bed is a luxury to her. She still was up and about before me and bought me a cuppa in bed as she normally does. I hate that she has a day of work and she still gets up and makes me a cup of tea. Maybe next time I can beat her to it.

Job of the day for me was to sort out a stack of documents that have been multiplying in my drawer. I have put it off for long enough. So I set about the task and its amazing what one can dispose of. It’s all paperwork, some useful, some compulsory and some utter rubbish. Most things occupy large envelopes and that helps. I write on each envelope what its contents are, but they still end up a mess as more and more documents come through the post.

It took me the best part of 90 minutes to get it all sorted out and I am left with half a rain forest that needs to be shredded as they are personal stuff from banks, doctors and hospitals. A real identity cloners dream if it’s just binned. I have a cross shredder and its well used. I am maybe paranoid about ID theft and do all I can to prevent giving these fuckers a head start. Anyway, I got it all sorted and put away in relative files and envelopes and the drawer looks much tidier, is much lighter and I can find things again. I even came across a tax rebate to the tune of £185 that I had filed in there and forgotten about. How do you forget about a cheque for £185 I hear you ask? Well if you knew me, then you wouldn’t bother asking the question. Part of my ongoing condition is short term memory loss. I ask my partner if she would like a drink. I go to the kitchen and by the time I get there, I have forgotten the reason why. It’s a friggen nightmare! I can remember something from 10 yrs ago, but can’t remember something from 10 minutes ago.

Once that was all done and dusted, it was coffee time. Latte’s all round in tall glasses, delicious. We drank them and were talking about the usual BS that we do and time was drifting by. A phone call and the mother in law was on her way to pay a visit. Always welcome here, we get on great. She is not my real mother in law, I am not married, never have been, but it’s just easier to say it that way. She had bought with her a new scarf and bobble hat that a friend knit for the little one. Lovely pastel colours and I am sure she will love them. A roll of bin liners that are too big for her bin, we seem to go through them like anything, so again, always useful. After some chat, she left and we decided to go out and look at some curtains and fabrics at a newish shop near us. The sitting room was decorated last year, but can we find curtains to finish it off? can we heckers like. There were some promising fabrics all in decent colours and a pair of curtains that are somewhere near close to what we are looking for. £125 a metre is a bit steep though, so I think we will pass on those. But we could get a compromise at £25 a metre. That’s promising. I shall contact them again tomorrow with some measurements and get a price from them and then we can think about it.

We walked home the “long” way, which is good exercise for us both, even though I am so slow. Any exercise is better than none. By the time we got back, it was time to start thinking about some food. I do most of the cooking around here, so we soon had our menu sorted and the oven on. A quick tidy up and we were about ready. A glass of wine to wash it down with and all is good in the world.

We watched a bit of tv, but its all soap operas and I hate them. I tolerated them until dessert, then it was time to log on for the first today. I knew nothing of events in Japan, so reading about that was harrowing to say the least. I have seen some pictures and read about the unfolding of events. I was dumbstruck by it all and still am. Not been 5 minutes since New Zealand was hit. Why do these things always seem to occur just after a new year?

So that’s about my day so far. I have a poker game in 40 mins. A good crowd play on a friday and we have a laugh. We all belong to the same poker forum, who shall remain nameless because of differences of opinion of late. I hope the kiddy fiddler who sometimes shows up is not there, I find it hard to ignore the bastard. If he is there, he is going to get some stick  from me, no worries. After that there is a buy in game at 11pm, or I might just go and play some more DoN games. My partner has work tomorrow, so it’s another early  start for her. She wont be late away to bed, but I will still be up and about until 1-1.30am, then time for bed for me as well. The tv is shite tonight, not even a decent film [movie] on anywhere, so poker will have to suffice.

Until tomorrow, this is uncle Tino saying toodle pip.