Tag Archives: light

Only Rock ‘n’ Roll, But I Like It.


Over at dVerse on Tuesday nights, its open link night [OLN] and I read something there that I found stirred something within me. Victoria, posted a Sestina, a form of poetry I had never heard of. To me, its a remarkable piece of work. the form is so technical and strict in its purest form, only by understanding that form and reading the piece over and over did I appreciate just how good, for want of a better word, this Sestina truly was. Without knowing it, Victoria had thrown down the gaunlet and I took it up with something approaching gusto. I was determined I was going to write a Sestina of my own. Lets get one thing straight, this is my first attempt at a Sestina and I dont expect or want congratulating, or a pat on the back, I want critique, I want to know why the effort is poor, which it is in comparison to Victoria’s. What can I do to improve it and why. Are the repeated words well chosen, or would something else fit better? Tell me as it is, tell me straight, I am a big boy now, I can take it  in any form you care to throw at me.

As per usual, when I am struggling for a muse or inspiration, I turn to my first love, music. I took Let There be Rock by AC/DC,

Lyrics here

I sprinkled in a little Hazel O’ Connor, Eighth Day,

Lyrics here

I also added a dab of 10cc for the hell of it,

Lyrics here

So I had to find 6 words that form the repeat, this was my choice,

light
sound
guitar
drums
music
rock

I then copied the form from a website of how the Sestina should be constructed and that was so I was able to follow the word repeat structure properly. The syllable structure needed a lot of work and thought, that was possibly the hardest part. But anyway, this is the result of my efforts, in a constructional form, just how I wrote it yesterday.

1
A On the first day, man made laserbeam lights
B On the second day, man made divine sound
C On the third day, man made pulsating drums
D On the fourth day, man made shredding guitar
E On the fifth day, man made awesome music
F On the sixth day, he named this music rock

2
F Headbanging frenzy, it’s classical rock!
A Suspended animation, strobing lights,
E Horned fingers, salute powerful music
B The room becomes a cavern of wild sound,
D Axemen, thrash their delusive air guitar,
C Wild eyed chicks girate hips to pounding drums.

3
C The pace quickens, rhythm sticks hammer on drums,
F There’s more roll to accompany this rock!
D Fingers ambulate frets of piercing guitar,
A Shadowless figures absorb shimmering lights,
B Mouths form lyrics, devoid of word and sound,
E When did this become the devil’s music?

4
E Note the electric crowd, high on music,
C Mellow on rhythm, the pulse of tom tom drums,
B Doors imprison this boom box wall of sound
F No dreadlock holiday here, just hard rock,
A The band played on below their name in lights,
D Lead by a lunatic, playing guitar

5
D Picking his riffs, at one with his guitar,
E Jams and licks, the man lives for the music
A Stealing the limelight, shunning the street light,
C Thunderous bass backed by resonant drums
F The crowd roar their assent, they came to rock!
B A heaving mass, immersed deep in the sound.

6
B Suburbia won’t tolerate this sound,
D They shun the music man and his guitar,
F Stale pop pours from their radio, not rock,
E Rock n Roll ain’t no riddle, its music!
C But they don’t like the beat of jungle drums
A They are blind, for they haven’t seen the light.

7
AB You shall see the light, listen to the sound
CD Feel the drums, sense the magical guitar
EF This IS music, this IS what we call ROCK!

So there ya have it. Thats my first attempt at a very difficult form, in my opinion anyway. I really like the form and I hope this could be the first of many. I am not realy a form lover, I much prefer freestyle, but that was before I found a form I particularly enjoy.


Resurrected Daymare


Shadows, stretched taught by the minutes
ticking tocking ticking tocking
skies darken their hue
as another day begins to fade
and not just from our memory
from time itself

we exit the light
we enter the night

soon our dreams shall claim us
sleep our ever-present friend
banishing these daymares
turning them to dust
to gather in the hour-glass
as we slowly drift away

darkness takes us by the hand
leading us into never-never land
a time to frolic, dance and play
the sounds of laughter holding sway

sleep long sleep tight my dear
for morning shall soon be here
our dreams will again be disturbed
as we once more become perturbed

Sandman my ally, Sandman my friend
I pray to you, in homage
may this night
never end

because tomorrow,
we enter
another daymare

we exit the night
we enter the light.

After reading a few posts recently, and empathizing with them and trying to offer some solace, it appears to me that night is no longer our enemy,  more of a friend to be welcomed so we get some respite from, well, whatever it is that mars our days. I just prefer to think of it as our daymare. The nights I get some peace that I no longer get during the daylight hours. When I sleep, the meds knock me right out and I dream or just sleep, undisturbed. Then, I wake up and the grind of another day greets me, laughing like some demented hyena on speed.

I don’t exactly fear daytime, but my condition has zero effect when I am asleep, its only when I am awake. The nights are easy, the days, well, I get through em best I can and I know others exist who find the same. So this is my tribute in a way to all those who find each day a struggle.

Of course, this is added over at dVerse, which is about the only place I hang in poetry as the folks there are great and very supportive. So pop along and peruse some awesome offerings from the ever-growing clientelle.


Beacon of Love


I am doing my usual lazy so and so act again today and trying to kill two birds with one stone.

Over at Victoria’s blog, liv2write2day, she talks about writing from the light perspective we may have on life. Its a natural progression as last week, she offered dark as the prompt.

Whilst looking at other poets work, I stumbled across a new form. I do like experimenting with new forms that present a challenge. This form certainly did that!  At The World Poetized C Rose offers three different forms that she came up with herself. The form I wanted to try is called Calypso and the explanation of the form and how it operates can be seen if you follow the links. Its a tough ask I can tell you and took me most of the morning to reach a point where I thought what I was doing was acceptable. You judge for yourselves.

Beacon of Love

Bathed in soft light
Her beauty shines
A beacon burning bright

I build her shrine
I honor her
That smile oh so benign

Voice soft as fur
I give her love
Love she cannot defer

She is well aware of my obsessions

A star above
To earth alights
Glides on wings of a dove

This is our night
Our star infers
Such a wonderful sight

The moon concurs
Lying supine
As love I did proffer

Its a first effort and I think there’s work to be done before I am anywhere near comfortable with this form. But I gave it a try and will look forward to any comments with interest.

http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/write2day-writing-from-the-light-side/

http://theworldpoetized.com/erudition-of-poetry/calypso-form/


 


Ancient


I live in a desolate place,
North of the most Northern of Cities,
The glens of heather are my dominion,
Snow capped tips that pierce the brutal skies,
As lightening rends your heart,
Thunderclaps reverberate from granite Monroe,
Ferns bend to the rains will,
Cascading waterfalls swell,
Streams morph themselves into torrents,
The loam of the earth is sated.

Cave is my habitat,
Dark, dank, aromatic, yet ageless,
Cave is my habitat,
Subterranean womb of Mother Nature herself.

Fire, my only friend,
Loyal, serving, protector of man,
Flames flicker whilst shadows dance,
Light in the jet of night,
Predators lurk on its periphery,
Anticipating offers of sustenance,
Biding for opportunity,
Palpable frustration in dawns breaking,
Hunger, despondent,
The hunter evolves, now hunted,
Survivals perpetual cycle,
Activated.

Cave is my habitat,
Shelter of stone, solid, substantial,
Cave is my habitat,
Guardian of my hearth.

1,2,3,
You are safe,
You can open your eyes,
You are safe,
How do you feel?

Ancient!